Feeling disconnected from your partner can be a lonely experience. But with the right tools, you can bridge the gap and rediscover your connection.
Signs of Emotional Distance
- Lack of meaningful conversations
- Decreased physical affection
- Pursuing separate interests without sharing
- Feeling like roommates rather than partners
- Loss of shared goals or future plans
How Growing Apart Affects Relationships
- Increases vulnerability to outside attractions
- Leads to feelings of loneliness even when together
- Can result in a loss of intimacy and passion
- May cause questioning of the relationship’s future
- Often results in decreased overall life satisfaction
Gottman’s Methods for Reconnecting
Dr. Gottman’s research emphasises the importance of maintaining friendship and shared meaning:
- Build Love Maps: Continuously update your knowledge of your partner’s world
- Share Fondness and Admiration: Actively appreciate each other
- Turn Towards Instead of Away: Respond positively to bids for connection
- Create Shared Meaning: Develop rituals and goals together
Exercises for Shared Meaning and Goals
- The “Perfect Day” Exercise: Describe your ideal day together and find common elements
- Relationship Timeline: Reflect on your journey and plan future milestones
- Gottman’s Love Map Questions: Deepen your understanding of each other’s worlds
- Shared Goals Workshop: Identify and plan for mutual short and long-term objectives
When to Seek Professional Help
Consider therapy if:
- You feel like you’re living parallel lives
- Attempts to reconnect aren’t yielding results
- You’re unsure how to start bridging the gap
- You’re questioning if you still have anything in common
Rediscover Your Connection
Growing apart doesn’t have to mean growing out of love. I can help you reconnect and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
