i will show you how to have a good enough relationship

hi.

is your relationship in danger?

could it be better?

listen:

you don’t need a perfect, “no problems” relationship.

you really just need a good enough relationship.

after all, as the late Dan Wile said:

“choosing a person is choosing a set of problems”

(and there’s no way around that.)

but, while a “no problems” relationship is off the tables, a better relationship is very much on.

you just need to know a few things about what makes a relationship work (and what doesn’t.)

and that’s where i come in.

so what’s the deal?

well, my practice is grounded in the Gottman Method, a research-based approach to couples therapy by the Gottman Institute.

this is supported by:

• 42+ years of research
• across 3000+ real couples…

showing the key behaviours that predict relationship success and happiness.

in other words, what makes a relationship work.

which means we –you and i– get to stand on the shoulders of giants.

no messing around.

this is as good as it gets when it comes to our understanding of human relationships.

so, when you work with me, we’ll be guided by that research, and i will guide you accordingly to get the results you want.

(i am not guided by nebulous, take for ever to get nowhere feelings, musings, and guesswork.)

→ who’s this for?

couples.

i only work with couples.

unlike most counsellors who have a long list of what they’ll do… i do nothing else but couples.

→ when will you be available?

you are welcome to book a session right here at your convenience.

(online only for now–office space pending.)

any questions?

feel free to reach out:

hello@jordanfrancis.co.uk

→ is your shift-key broken?

the all-lowercase is not an error.

it’s intentional.

it feels freeing. odd, yes. a bit silly, perhaps.

but also endearing…

but it’s not a typo or mistake.

not that there is anything wrong with making a mistake…

that’s human.

just like problems in a relationship.

(you’re not meant to have no problems. that would be weird. and something we’ll explore another time.)

→ what’s the goal here?

my goal is to show you how to make the next conversation with your other half, better.

better enough so you’re less like that couple on a trajectory toward separation or divorce.

and,

to do this without needing me.

(when you can fire me, i’ve done my job.)

→ do you know what you’re doing?

i “do” what works.

my work –or our work, if you work with me— is all the stuff that won out of all the fancy longitudinal studies conducted with 3000+ couples across four decades.

(namely, the research carried out by John and Julie Gottman.)

so, all the “do’s and don’ts” that research has found to be a positive for making relationships work…

is food for my couples therapy.

not any opinion-based therapy or “makes sense” guesswork.

which can backfire.

for example, back in the 60s, Lederer and Jackson wrote a book called The Mirages of Marriage. a cool title.

well, one of their “common sense” ideas was that a good relationship was based on quid pro quo. you know, reciprocity, the “give to get” approach.

this led to the 70s behavioural intervention of contingency contracting (yeah, doesn’t roll off the tongue.)

but this wasn’t based on research.

and indeed, in 77, Bernard Murstein showed –through research– that “give to get” was actually a hallmark of an ailing relationship, not a happy one.

whoops.

so, i follow the research.

and for that, i have completed the level 1 and level 2 training in Gottman method couples therapy.

(the gold standard of research-based couples therapy.)