Money is often cited as a leading cause of relationship stress. Learning to manage finances together can strengthen your bond.
Common Money-Related Relationship Issues
- Differing spending habits
- Unequal incomes or financial contributions
- Secret spending or hidden debt
- Disagreements on financial goals
- Power imbalances due to money
How Financial Conflicts Affect Relationships
- Create ongoing tension and arguments
- Erode trust if finances aren’t transparent
- Lead to feelings of resentment or inequality
- Cause stress that impacts other areas of the relationship
- Can symbolise deeper issues of control or values
Gottman’s Perspective on Financial Harmony
Dr. Gottman’s research emphasises that financial conflicts are often not about money itself, but about the meaning of money. Key principles include:
- Understand each other’s money history and values
- Create shared financial goals
- Establish transparent money management systems
- Regular financial check-ins
Techniques and Exercises
- Money History Exploration: Discuss how your families handled money growing up
- Financial Goals Workshop: Identify and prioritise short and long-term financial goals together
- Budget Date Night: Regular, positive discussions about finances
- Values and Symbols Exercise: Explore what money represents to each of you
When to Seek Professional Help
Consider therapy if:
- Money arguments are frequent or intense
- You can’t agree on basic financial management
- There’s a lack of financial transparency
- Financial issues are impacting other areas of your relationship
Achieve Financial Harmony
With the right approach, money can bring you closer rather than drive you apart. I can guide you toward financial teamwork.
