“Turning towards” is about responding positively to your partner’s bids for emotional connection. It’s a crucial habit for building and maintaining strong relationships.
What Are Bids?
Bids are attempts to connect. They can be:
- Verbal (questions, comments)
- Physical (touch, gestures)
- Emotional (seeking support)
Why Turning Towards Matters
- Builds emotional bank account
- Increases feelings of trust
- Strengthens overall connection
- Predicts relationship satisfaction
Three Ways to Respond to Bids
- Turn towards: Engage positively
- Turn away: Ignore or miss the bid
- Turn against: Respond negatively
Examples of Turning Towards
-
Partner: “Look at that beautiful sunset.”
You: Stop what you’re doing and look, then comment. -
Partner: Sighs heavily.
You: “Is everything okay? Want to talk about it?” -
Partner: Reaches for your hand.
You: Hold their hand and give a gentle squeeze.
Practice Turning Towards
- Be aware of bids
- Respond positively, even briefly
- Make it a habit
- Repair missed bids
Benefits of Consistent Turning Towards
- Increased emotional intimacy
- Better conflict management
- Higher relationship satisfaction
- Stronger friendship in the relationship
Remember, small moments of connection build strong relationships over time. Practice turning towards your partner’s bids every day.
